About two weeks ago a random note appeared in my mailbox. A very small and unassuming thing, this note was dressed in a simple yellow envelope--my favorite color--with no return address. It was addressed to me and the handwriting was unrecognizable. I opened it up thinking that at some point throughout reading the note that I would realize who it was from or it would be announced to me. No cigar. The note read:
"Dear Candice,
You have more in you than you know. You are smart enough, creative enough, and wise enough. You are doing the right thing. Do not stop writing. Do not stop instilling. Push further. You are making your way.
Love, Me."
Of course my first thought was that my partner was being sweet and that this was some type of romantic gesture to smooth over the hard times that arise in every relationship but not at all. She just looked back at me like she didn't know what I was talking about and with a hint of, "who THE HELL is writing you love notes?" I had no clue who it was from and it kind of freaked me out that this anonymous person knew my address AND my favorite color.
But what struck me most was the tone of what was written. The certainty. The conviction. The kindness. The love. The BELIEF in me. I could not believe that, whoever it was, took the time out to reassure me that I am right where I am supposed to be and that even if right now I feel like things are too hard and that since it's all so hard maybe its not for me, I should know otherwise. Moved isn't even the word. I tucked the note into my backpack that I carry everyday and have taken it out into the world with me ever since. It now is being pinned to a wall in my house.
Someone believes in me. This isn't to say I didn't think others already did. But there is nothing like being reminded. I like to present myself to the world like I know that I am unstoppable and that everything I write I know is important and like I am sure of myself at all times but the fact is the professional and creative life I have chosen yields itself to the most crippling doubt I have ever seen. Not only do I every day wake up haunted by my dreams, I am also accosted by my doubt. Being supplied by BELIEF, from wherever it may come, is the greatest gift right now for me.
So you...who wrote this note...whoever you are...I love you. I thank you. And I appreciate you for inspiring me to keep it moving.